Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Kid Free Me = Too Much Thinking

So my kiddos are at their grandma's house and have been since Monday evening, they'll be home on Thursday so it's just one more day.  When they are gone for a couple of days it gives me a chance to catch up on things I don't normally get done when they are here.  When they are gone for more than two days (like this time a total of 4 days), I get lonely and miss them like crazy.  I tend to smother my husband with my attention and really clean my house.  Like SCRUB it from top to bottom. 

When I type that out it makes me feel a little weird...  It makes me think, "You can't go without your kids for a few days without going nuts?  Talk about being overly attached!"  But then I remind myself, I am their mother!  It's my job to miss them, love them, and worry about them.  I think society has put it in my head at some point that if I can't occupy myself without them for more than a couple of days, there isn't enough substance to the "me" outside of being a mom.  But there is no "me" without the "mom" part.  It's just who I am, deep down.  Some people are bankers, some lawyers, some scientists.  Me?  Well I'm a mom and I'm proud.

As I'm sure you can tell, when I am child free for a few days it gives me time to think.  My brain is always on overload so when they are gone and the house is quiet, well it gets magnified.  I end up thinking about things that I normally don't think about.  Like, what will I do with myself once my children are grown?  Yes, I take pride in being a housewife, not just a mother.  I honestly do not think I will work a regular 9-5 even when my children have gone off to college.  Just as much as I take pride in caring for my children, I take pride in caring for my husband.

This morning hubbs was running late for work and didn't have time for a normal breakfast.  He was rushing and feeling stressed.  I made him a quick egg sandwich to take with him and packed a snack for later, hopefully I was able to calm him down a bit and relieve some of his stress.  But the point is, I enjoy taking care of him and being his partner.  I think if I took a regular 40  hour work week that would take me out of my place as homemaker and wife.  Don't forget we are talking about our home post children, not when they are still home.  My oldest just turned 10, in just 8 short years he will be headed to college!  I'm starting to realize they won't need me every single day of their lives. 

So where does this leave me?  What do I want to do with my time as my children grow to demand less and less of it?  Well as of right now, I am not sure!  But it's something I've been thinking about...  I don't know if I've told you this before but I'm only 26, still very young.  I could go to school, but there are a lot of questions I have about that.  What if I choose a subject I end up hating?  Why go into debt with student loans if I don't need to?  Won't that take me out of the home, the place I choose to be?  Statistically, women out live men.  If my dear sweet hubbs passes before I do, won't it be good to have a backup plan? 

You see what I mean here?  Not having my bebes at home is not good for my poor fried brain!  It really goes on overload when they are gone.  Too much time on my hands!  I think today, I will clean their bedroom.  They keep telling us they are ready for seperate bedrooms so I suppose we'll be moving our office to the guest room and moving the youngest to the office.  That is something that will take quite a bit of work so I think that is a great project for me to start on today! =D

And pretty please, don't judge me for saying that my place is in the home.  I'm not saying all women should be in the kitchen all the time.  But I do think all mothers should be home with their children whenever possible, but that's another post for another day.  But if all you have is something negative to say, well you can just take your comment somewhere else! =) And on that note, a HUGE thank you to all of the supporters I have out there!  The nice comments well outweigh the nasty ones and that is the way I like it!  You guys are the best! <3

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Oh how I have missed you!

If there is one thing I'm known for, it's starting things and then forgetting them.  I can't tell you the projects I have started and never gone back to.  But blogging has really stuck with me, I think it's a bit therapeutic!  No matter how long it has been since I've written a blog, it's something I've been thinking about.  I end up putting it off "just one more day until I really have time to sit out and do it right."  Well now here we are, two months later, and I'm still not doing it what I would call "right".  But I know that is perfectionism talking and it's time to shut it up!

I have a serious case of insomnia tonight so I figured I would take this spare time and get out a quick blog!  The first thing I really want to talk about is my page views for this blog.  It is an amazing feeling to know that people are reading this even when I'm not posting.  I am so thankful for all of you who check in from time to time and leave a comment here or there.  It just warms my heart!  Also to my FB page followers, a big thank you!  You're always there for me whether I have a question or just want to talk about something.  It helps me feel connected to people outside of my little family circle.  I love knowing there is a whole world of people out there that I can talk to! 

Another thing I want to hit on really quickly is the topic of SUMMER!  I love love love Summer because I get to spend every day, all day with my kids!  I miss them so much while they are at school and sure, by the end of Summer they are driving me nuts.  But I appreciate having them home with me!  So every Summer this is what we do...  We make a TON of plans and do you know how many of those things we accomplish?  None.  That's right, none.  We sit home, watch TV, play games, sleep a lot, and play together.  Which is awesome!  But at the end of Summer we are always wishing we had done some of the cool stuff we talked about. 

To solve this problem we decided to make a list of all the things we wanted to do this year.  To keep it from becoming enormous we had some rules...  Each of us gets to choose two things, it cannot be an out of state activity, and it needs to be a reasonable price.  So we sat around the table one night after dinner and took turns coming up with things.  We called our "Summer Family Fun Bucket List" and I am so excited to start crossing things off!  The beginning of Summer is always super busy for us so we were waiting until after Alex's birthday to start.  Well his party is today so next weekend, lookout Summer here we come!

I don't have the list in front of me but I am going to share a few of the things we've decided to do this Summer.

1. Have a cookout with all our family
2. Go back yard camping
3. Go to the local water park
4. Have a water gun war
5. Visit the WOW Factory (a local place with a ton of cool science stuff)
6. Dedicate an entire weekend to "Family Fun"

Hmm there are two more but I can't remember them off the top of my head.  But all easy, fun, and inexpensive.  I can't wait to get started.  We're going to have to hurry up though because we've only got two months until school is back in session.  So that leaves 8 weekends and 8 list items.  It'll be busy but we are going to get some stuff done this year lol!

Does anyone else share our problem?  Big ideas and then never getting them done...  If so, jump on the bandwagon with us!  Kick some Summer butt!