Thursday, July 5, 2012

Being A Supportive Wife

I was originally going to post about my lack of style...  One thing is for sure, women of the 50's were glamorous.  Me in my jeans and t-shirt?  Not so much.  It was a very good topic I think and I still will make a post on it.  Instead I have something more important to talk about today!  My experience with trying to be a supportive wife to my husband.

My hubbs has been working on a book for about 3 years now, actually he's written a total of 3 books.  He's ready to start getting them out there in the world for people to read and it's not been an easy road so far.  We've run into a few snags...

I will give you a bit of info about my hubbs since I really haven't really done that on here yet.  He is an extremely hard working man, a wonderful provider for his family, an involved father, and a caring husband.  One thing he is not, is good with people.  He can't stand interacting with people, especially people he doesn't know, it makes him extremely anxious. 

Can you imagine what that's like for a writer?  Working for years on your book, putting a part of your soul into it and then sending it off for strangers to critique?  Well it's just not easy for him...  He struggles with all aspects of it. 

I've been doing my very best to help him as much as I can...  I've helped him create a Facebook page for his books, I've helped with research and finding publishers & agents, I've helped with editing and revising, I've helped with brainstorming ideas, today I helped him create a blog...  I really have done my very best to help in any and every way. 

What I haven't always been able to do, is help with a smile every time.  I try my very best to be understanding and supportive.  I've never once told him he couldn't do it or not to do it.  Because I know he can do it!  But he doesn't seem to believe in himself.  I find it frustrating that he doesn't just get in there and do what he needs to do next...  He agonizes over each and every decision and choice.  He's a perfectionist for sure! 

I listed the ways that I have supported him, now I think I'll list the ways that I have failed him.  Keep in mind these are only related to supporting him in his writing.  I get snappy when he asks me the same question over and over, I get frustrated when he needs me to look up something that he could look up himself, I've yelled at him over stupid things, I am extremely impatient, it frustrates me when he doesn't understand something when I think I've been perfectly clear, I took too long when helping with proofreading...  I'm sure there's more but I'm having trouble recalling everything. 

Looking back now I realize I have lost my temper a lot more than I wish I had.  I do believe that I have been more supportive than not...  He may have a different opinion on the subject, I'll make a mental note to ask him.  I'm going to make a decision right now to try my very best to be patient and understanding when we're talking about his books. 

I think it's very important in a marriage for both the husband and the wife to support each others dreams and projects.  I can't think of any person in the world that I rely on for support more than my husband.  He supports me in every aspect of my life and I try to do the same for him.  I think sometimes we all get caught up so much in our own hopes and dreams, we find it hard to support others with theirs. 

So I ask you, are you a supportive spouse?  Have you ever told your spouse that you thought their idea was a bad one and not to do it?  If you aren't very supportive, will you try to change that?  I hope so because we all deserve someone in our corner.  Be there for your spouse!  =)

My favorite, FAVORITE thing about blogging is reading your comments!  So if you have anything to say on the subject I ask you to comment!  It's the best part really!

Aaaaand I forgot to put a link to his blog here!  Just incase you are curious as to what all the hubbub was about!  You can find it here.


  1. My husband and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and the one thing that really bothers me, besides how old I feel, is that looking back over the years I don't think I was the supportive wife I was suppose to be. The past few years have really changed me and I strive to do this every day. Great post! Came over from Facebook!

    1. Well no one is perfect, and life is about progress and growing. So if you feel you are not as supportive as you would like to be, then address those issues and work on them. However, I would find this to be a much more interesting blog if I read one about how supportive your husband was. To be honest, I feel our whole WORLD tells women to sacrifice and be supportive to men and our children...but who tells you to not be so hard on yourself and ask for someone to be more supportive of you? It seems to me that a person who writes a blog could write a book or three. Just saying......

    2. I can understand your feelings. There are a lot of struggles in our family right now and I need to be more supportive of my husband than I often feel that I am being. I too lose my patience and feel irritated by the things that are happening or not happening as the case my be. I continue to try and be a better wife every day even if it is only by a little bit.

    3. Wow @Walking on Sunshine! Congratulations on your 25th anniversary, that is an amazing feat these days. Kuddos to both of you! All we can do is try to do the best we can from here on out, I really work to not dwell on the past. Thank you for your comment! =)

    4. And for some reason I can't click to reply to each individual person... I'm still new to blogging so maybe I will figure that out eventually! Until then...

      @Rev. Sonya Miller I appreciate your comment! A lot of my blogs are like journal entries to me, I just start typing and never know what I will end up with. I think it is a wonderful idea to write a post on supportive husbands! I could write about my experience with having a supportive husband and my thoughts on that but I think it would be very interesting to actually hear from a supportive husband. Maybe I could ask him to do a guest blog on the subject? Thank you for your suggestion!

    5. @Kristy Elliott All you can do is try your best every day and let go of the past... I need to take my own advice as well. I know that we are our toughest critic, nobody in the world is as hard on you as you are yourself. I applaud you for trying your best every day, even a little improvement is great! =)