Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I've missed this...

So I don't know if you've noticed...  But I haven't written a blog in some time.  I haven't really felt the urge in a while.  But for the past couple of days something has been gnawing at me.  I think it's pretty therapeutic to write out your deepest thoughts every now and again.  The things you wouldn't say to the people that you see in your day to day life.  Private things that you think about when laying in bed at night and you can't sleep...  Let's just get right down to it, shall we?

As many of you already know, I had my oldest son at the ripe old age of 16.  Like I tell him every chance I get, he (and his brother) are the very best thing that ever happened to me.  I've NEVER regretted having my children when I did.  My life wouldn't be what it is now if I had waited.  I could very well have ended up like the rest of my family, on drugs and in jail or worse... 

Although I wouldn't change anything, I did have to make some sacrifices...  All parents do.  One of the things that I had to give up was finishing high school.  It just wasn't possible at the time for me.  Plus, I figured I'd just get my GED later.  I mean, I had plenty of time right?  Well here it is 11 years later and I'm still a high school drop out...

I've given lots of excuses over the years as to why I haven't done it yet but do you want to know the true reason?  The "only admit it to myself at night when everyone else is asleep" reason?  I'm afraid of failure.  I know we all are and it's normal...  But how embarrassing would it be to go take the GED test and fail?  I'd never get the courage to take it a second time.  I know myself well enough to admit that.

So a couple of weeks ago, my oldest started having trouble with school and bullies.  We talked about pulling him out of public school if necessary.  I REFUSE to let my child be one of those poor kids you hear about on the news, parents lived in the dark while the child was bullied for months.  Only to find out about it when they read the suicide note.  I mean if you can earn a college degree online these days, surely you can find middle school classes online right?

Well in doing this research I found that you can get your entire education online these days!  And while we may not be ready to pull our child out of school just yet (we're working the steps and doing what we can to work with the school), it did make me aware of something else.  It was a tiny little spark of an idea at first...  "Hey, it's possible to get your diploma online!  Cool!"

It kept popping up in my mind over the next week or so...  I decided it couldn't hurt to do some research right?  Harmless research.  Nothing wrong with that!  I had some concerns...  Is it legit?  Does it cost a fortune?  Can you get a REAL diploma?  How awesome would it be, to be able to get my high school diploma after all of these years?  What an example could I set for my own children! 

I brought it up to the Hubbs thinking he would tell me to forget it!  Just go get my GED and be happy with that.  He's a very pragmatic man, I figured he wouldn't see the point of all the time and work if I could just take one day, take a test, and be done with it.  But I was pleasantly surprised when he told me to go for it! 

So basically...  Long story short...  I'm going to be a 27 year old high school student.  I'm still not sure how I feel about that statement!  I know that I'll be very proud of myself...  I know that my oldest is already proud of me, I discussed it with him earlier tonight.  He told me that we could help each other with homework lol! 

As most of you know, my childhood family is pretty nonexistent these days.  Everyone has gone their own separate ways and now my family consists of my Hubbs and children.  So the only other people I really have to share this info with is you guys!  Hubbs told me that it's never too late.  I hope he's right...

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