Kid Free Me = Too Much Thinking

So my kiddos are at their grandma's house and have been since Monday evening, they'll be home on Thursday so it's just one more day.  When they are gone for a couple of days it gives me a chance to catch up on things I don't normally get done when they are here.  When they are gone for more than two days (like this time a total of 4 days), I get lonely and miss them like crazy.  I tend to smother my husband with my attention and really clean my house.  Like SCRUB it from top to bottom. 

When I type that out it makes me feel a little weird...  It makes me think, "You can't go without your kids for a few days without going nuts?  Talk about being overly attached!"  But then I remind myself, I am their mother!  It's my job to miss them, love them, and worry about them.  I think society has put it in my head at some point that if I can't occupy myself without them for more than a couple of days, there isn't enough substance to the "me" outside of being a mom.  But there is no "me" without the "mom" part.  It's just who I am, deep down.  Some people are bankers, some lawyers, some scientists.  Me?  Well I'm a mom and I'm proud.

As I'm sure you can tell, when I am child free for a few days it gives me time to think.  My brain is always on overload so when they are gone and the house is quiet, well it gets magnified.  I end up thinking about things that I normally don't think about.  Like, what will I do with myself once my children are grown?  Yes, I take pride in being a housewife, not just a mother.  I honestly do not think I will work a regular 9-5 even when my children have gone off to college.  Just as much as I take pride in caring for my children, I take pride in caring for my husband.

This morning hubbs was running late for work and didn't have time for a normal breakfast.  He was rushing and feeling stressed.  I made him a quick egg sandwich to take with him and packed a snack for later, hopefully I was able to calm him down a bit and relieve some of his stress.  But the point is, I enjoy taking care of him and being his partner.  I think if I took a regular 40  hour work week that would take me out of my place as homemaker and wife.  Don't forget we are talking about our home post children, not when they are still home.  My oldest just turned 10, in just 8 short years he will be headed to college!  I'm starting to realize they won't need me every single day of their lives. 

So where does this leave me?  What do I want to do with my time as my children grow to demand less and less of it?  Well as of right now, I am not sure!  But it's something I've been thinking about...  I don't know if I've told you this before but I'm only 26, still very young.  I could go to school, but there are a lot of questions I have about that.  What if I choose a subject I end up hating?  Why go into debt with student loans if I don't need to?  Won't that take me out of the home, the place I choose to be?  Statistically, women out live men.  If my dear sweet hubbs passes before I do, won't it be good to have a backup plan? 

You see what I mean here?  Not having my bebes at home is not good for my poor fried brain!  It really goes on overload when they are gone.  Too much time on my hands!  I think today, I will clean their bedroom.  They keep telling us they are ready for seperate bedrooms so I suppose we'll be moving our office to the guest room and moving the youngest to the office.  That is something that will take quite a bit of work so I think that is a great project for me to start on today! =D

And pretty please, don't judge me for saying that my place is in the home.  I'm not saying all women should be in the kitchen all the time.  But I do think all mothers should be home with their children whenever possible, but that's another post for another day.  But if all you have is something negative to say, well you can just take your comment somewhere else! =) And on that note, a HUGE thank you to all of the supporters I have out there!  The nice comments well outweigh the nasty ones and that is the way I like it!  You guys are the best! <3